Sick Days

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has called in sick when you were in
fact, not sick! If you haven't, you need to try it sometime...just for a
simple day of relaxation. Not that I do it often, maybe once or twice a
year (usually on my birthday). Anyway, here is a list of excuses that
employers have heard from employees calling in sick.

1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.
2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the
employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally
locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.
5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot
of chores to do around the house.
7. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8. Employee's mother was in jail.
9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his
uniforms.
10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.
11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15. Employee was sad.